The Lesbian Cookbook - Where are the recipes?

Ok, so this is a LESBIAN COOKBOOK...where the heck are all the recipes? Now don't go getting your cargo shorts in a bunch! The recipes are coming, I promise. I just wanted to give you a little background on why I'm assembling a Lesbian Cookbook. You might be asking yourself, "How in the world do lesbian recipes differ from Betty Crocker and Grandma's recipes?" That's a very good question! Here's the answer:

First of all, Grandma cooked and baked for ALL the family get-togethers, the Ladies Auxiliary down at the VFW, the girls at the PTA meetings on Tuesday afternoons, Ladies Bible Study on Wednesday mornings, the boys down at the fire barn and for Bingo Night on Fridays in the basement of the Town Hall. A lesbian, on the other hand, only cooks for ONE reason...and that is...to impress her girlfriend! Other than that, when there's a PETA demonstration going on down at the city park, or you're heading over to a friend's house to watch the football game, or some other big event like that, lesbians will stop at a gas station, on the way, and pick up a bag of chips. (You know it's true!)

Secondly, lesbians know a great deal about power tools and stuff, but Grandma knew what all the buttons on the blender meant. She also knew how much a "pinch" was and the importance of "sifting." Lesbians...well...they know that they have to keep spare batteries on hand (I know, I know, that counts for something!)

So you see, lesbians NEED a cookbook. They need a cookbook just as desperately as they need a relationship handbook! Unfortunately, they don't make "Relationship Handbooks." That's why lesbians bring a U-Haul on the second date! If we had a handbook, we wouldn't all keep making the same mistakes, over and over again.

So let's start this out easy. How about making her breakfast in bed?

FRENCH-KISS TOAST

3 eggs

1/4 c. milk

1/2 teas. vanilla

1/2 teas. cinnamon

1/8 teas. nutmeg

8 slices of bread (French or Italian is best!)

In a shallow bowl, whisk the eggs until smooth. Add the milk, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. Beat well and set aside.

Lightly spray a skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium heat.

Dip bread slices into egg mixture, turning to coat both sides. Place slices in the skillet. Cook until golden brown, turning once, about 1 or 2 minutes per side.

(TIP: Transfer the cooked slices to a warm plate inside a 200 degree oven. This will keep the slices warm as you finish cooking the remaining bread slices.)

Top with strawberries and whip cream or with a powdered sugar and warm maple syrup.

Now, do me a favor, bookmark this blog! That way, you can check back any time you please to find more recipes as the LESBIAN COOKBOOK begins to shower you with ideas that will, undoubtedly, seal the deal on your relationship and keep her Birkenstocks parked under your bed for a very, very long time!