The Lesbian Cookbook - What's for Dinner?

Welcome back to The Lesbian Cookbook - your one stop source for recipes and meal planning that will sure to please your favorite gal. This afternoon we tried the Pleasing Penne Pasta. So did she absolutely love you for it? Or did she have to work today and you'll be preparing it for dinner tonight? Either way, you are going to get some mileage out of this one!

If pasta piqued her passion, wait until she tries tonight's hottie:

MOUTH-WATERIN' MEXICAN LASAGNA

1.5 lbs. ground Turkey

1 bunch chopped Green Onions

1 pkg. Taco Seasoning Mix

2 c. Water

1 (14 oz.) can diced Tomatoes, undrained

1 (4 oz.) can diced Green Chilies, undrained

1 (15 oz.) container Ricotta Cheese

2 Eggs

8 Flour Tortillas

1 (8 oz.) container Sour Cream

1/4 c. Salsa

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large skillet, brown the turkey. Stir in green onions, taco seasoning, water, tomatoes and green chilies and cook until heated through.

In a medium bowl, mix ricotta cheese and eggs.

Place 2 tortillas in the bottom of a 9x13 pan. Spread 1/4 of the cheese mixture over the tortillas. Spoon 1/4 of the turkey mixture over the cheese layer. Repeat layers until all remaining ingredients have been used.

Bake for 20 minutes or until sauce is bubbly.

In a small bowl, mix sour cream and salsa. Serve on the side as a garnish for lasagna.

Even though this recipe isn't the spiciest in all the land, it is sure to light up her tastebuds! Pair this lasagna with an adult frothy beverage such as a Margarita or a minty Mojito and, girl, it's gonna be a good night for BOTH of you! THE LESBIAN COOKBOOK says, "Bottom's up!"

The Lesbian Cookbook - Lunch

So did you try it? The French-Kiss Toast recipe? Amazing, wasn't it? What a way to begin The Lesbian Cookbook! I don't think you have enough fingers to add up just how many brownie points you won serving THAT recipe in bed! Nonetheless, you shouldn't be using your fingers for counting anyway!

Let's take a stab at lunch now. I know that you are really, really busy and the grass needs mowing, the Subaru needs an oil change, and that you have to get your Golden Retriever to the vet this afternoon. However, if you are deadset on impressing your girlfriend, don't make her settle for a bologna sandwich at noon! Try this:

PLEASING PENNE PASTA

1 (8 oz) pkg. Penne Pasta

1 Tb. Olive Oil

1/8 c. chopped Red Onion

1/2 Tb. minced Garlic

1/8 c. White Cooking Wine

1 cans diced Tomatoes

1/2 lb. Shrimp, peeled and deveined

1/2 c. grated Parmesan Cheese

Prepare pasta according to package directions. Set aside.

In a large skillet over medium heat, heat the oil and stir in onions and garlic until onions are tender. Carefully, mix in wine and tomatoes. Cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add shrimp and cook for another 5 minutes or until shrimp turn completely opaque.

Toss shrimp mixture with pasta and top with Parmesan Cheese.

This recipe from The Lesbian Cookbook is incredibly easy and will make your girlfriend think that you spared no expense to tickle her taste buds. Seriously, a sexy shrimp dish for lunch?!! Ah, but she's soooo worth it! The Lesbian Cookbook is here to please.

The Lesbian Cookbook - Where are the recipes?

Ok, so this is a LESBIAN COOKBOOK...where the heck are all the recipes? Now don't go getting your cargo shorts in a bunch! The recipes are coming, I promise. I just wanted to give you a little background on why I'm assembling a Lesbian Cookbook. You might be asking yourself, "How in the world do lesbian recipes differ from Betty Crocker and Grandma's recipes?" That's a very good question! Here's the answer:

First of all, Grandma cooked and baked for ALL the family get-togethers, the Ladies Auxiliary down at the VFW, the girls at the PTA meetings on Tuesday afternoons, Ladies Bible Study on Wednesday mornings, the boys down at the fire barn and for Bingo Night on Fridays in the basement of the Town Hall. A lesbian, on the other hand, only cooks for ONE reason...and that is...to impress her girlfriend! Other than that, when there's a PETA demonstration going on down at the city park, or you're heading over to a friend's house to watch the football game, or some other big event like that, lesbians will stop at a gas station, on the way, and pick up a bag of chips. (You know it's true!)

Secondly, lesbians know a great deal about power tools and stuff, but Grandma knew what all the buttons on the blender meant. She also knew how much a "pinch" was and the importance of "sifting." Lesbians...well...they know that they have to keep spare batteries on hand (I know, I know, that counts for something!)

So you see, lesbians NEED a cookbook. They need a cookbook just as desperately as they need a relationship handbook! Unfortunately, they don't make "Relationship Handbooks." That's why lesbians bring a U-Haul on the second date! If we had a handbook, we wouldn't all keep making the same mistakes, over and over again.

So let's start this out easy. How about making her breakfast in bed?

FRENCH-KISS TOAST

3 eggs

1/4 c. milk

1/2 teas. vanilla

1/2 teas. cinnamon

1/8 teas. nutmeg

8 slices of bread (French or Italian is best!)

In a shallow bowl, whisk the eggs until smooth. Add the milk, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. Beat well and set aside.

Lightly spray a skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium heat.

Dip bread slices into egg mixture, turning to coat both sides. Place slices in the skillet. Cook until golden brown, turning once, about 1 or 2 minutes per side.

(TIP: Transfer the cooked slices to a warm plate inside a 200 degree oven. This will keep the slices warm as you finish cooking the remaining bread slices.)

Top with strawberries and whip cream or with a powdered sugar and warm maple syrup.

Now, do me a favor, bookmark this blog! That way, you can check back any time you please to find more recipes as the LESBIAN COOKBOOK begins to shower you with ideas that will, undoubtedly, seal the deal on your relationship and keep her Birkenstocks parked under your bed for a very, very long time!

The Lesbian Cookbook Begins

Welcome to The Lesbian Cookbook. This ain't your mama's cookbook, so if you are looking for the same old potluck recipes from Betty Crocker, you better else where! Instead, plan to find orgasmic recipes with steamy hot tips and cooking techniques that'll leave your girlfriend begging for more!